My Insensitivity Bothers Me
I’m here to confess that I’m a very insensitive person who never feels even the slightest hint of sadness when someone I know dies.
This is something about myself that I’ve come to know with the passage of time, as I’ve grown. When I was little (about 8 years old), my grandma died and I remember seeing almost everyone in my family shedding tears on her death. On the other hand, I just thought to myself that it’s no big deal and that it’s completely normal for old people to die. Didn’t really get why they’re all so sad! Wasn’t the death obvious?
Growing up, I used to think (occasionally) about the day my grandma died and feel guilty about my thoughts but I confronted myself thinking that I was young then and so, must’ve failed to understand and connect with emotions.
Some time ago, our pet dog died. He was a very good boy and I experienced the exact same thing: NOTHING! But why again? I’m all grown up now and I definitely have feelings (I feel them).
Also, very recently, my childhood friend died. He was gone too soon as he was merely 20 years old! He died in an accident and hence, came as a shock to everyone around me. They were traumatized, but the only feeling I felt was guilty! Guilty, for not being sad.
I know this confession of mine is boring.. but tbh, this nature of mine bothers me. And I hope I’ll be like the others one day. Maybe this is better? I don’t know, we’ll have to see!