Hi there! I’ve got a confession to make, a rather sad one. It’s something that I keep hurting myself over and suffer due to, a lot.
My name is Ray and as of now, I’m 18 years old. When I was younger, say from 8 onwards to 12, I lied a lot. It wasn’t evil or anything of that sort but I used to lie just to fit in with the other kids at school and be the ‘cool’ kid, as I didn’t do anything interesting and had a rather simple childhood.
I did at times wish that I had an exciting life and so, I made up stories- false ones- about how my cousin (whom nobody knew and I barely knew), and I, were such buddies and had so many thrilling adventures together. The problem is I also lied about ‘evil things’ happened to him and how he was suffering from some ‘life-threatening’ disease.. unfortunate enough that sometime after I made this disease story up, he was actually diagnosed with cancer and it wasn’t long after that he died.
When I heard about the tragic news of his death, I blamed myself for it and cried a lot. I felt so weak and to me, it’s a punishment for lying and making up a foul, hurting stories about someone. I lied about it and then he suffered, my family suffered, I SUFFERED. As a punishment.
I try to tell myself that it wasn’t my fault, I meant no harm and it happened because it was meant to. It’s destiny. But even to this day, I still have a lot of troubling thoughts in my mind that I can’t control.
