“Man has demonstrated that he is the master of everything except his own nature”
– Henry Miller
I’m a person of a nature that is straight off labelled as ‘BAD’ in our society.. and I get why exactly.
I’m someone who can’t see his friends (or anyone at all) acing in life or even just living it in a ‘better than me’ way. I know.. I’m ashamed of it myself! But it just bugs me so much.
I’m a mediocre person when it comes to personal or professional life. VERY basic. And I think one of the main reasons why I am where I am today, is my jealousy towards others -specifically- the people I know.
Not long ago, one of my friends started his business and I couldn’t bear it. I was SO jealous of him! He was in my close circle and I didn’t attend his inauguration or celebration party. In fact, I stopped replying him back and taking his calls. If I did, it’d end up in a fight or squabble.
Whenever a co-worker or someone gets promoted, I feel the same. Jealousy is what I always feel!
I honestly just feel like they don’t deserve it (even though they work so hard for it) and that I should be the one standing in their place (sounds so harsh, yikes!). And THIS, my friend, is the main hindrance in the path to MY success. My own self.
I’m tired of feeling this way and always being negative. I seriously want to change this nature of mine.
These days, I’m focusing on myself. And trying my best to change my mindset and stay calm. I watch YouTube videos that (I feel) are making a difference in my mentality. I seriously have been so negative in the past that it has almost ruined everything for me, in me. I feel bad for my friends too. No one deserves someone like me. I just hope to get out of it soon and make genuine friends who I’ll genuinely support!