I’ve never been very close to my mom. Was more of a daddy’s girl, until my parents got divorced and dad left us, never to hear from him again. I’ve a brother too. He is close to my mom and so at the time of divorce and later, he had someone. Someone he was close to. My mom.
I, on the other hand, suffered alone. Or felt like I was alone. Even though mom cares a lot about me and I’m well aware of it. So, it’s more like a broken family for me. Although I care about them, I barely kept in touch with them.
Anyways, tragically, my mom recently got diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and her condition is getting worse with each passing day. The news of her illness shattered my heart. The thought that with any passing day, she’ll forget me and our sweet childhood memories together, chills me to the core and I cry like a baby. I don’t ever want to see that day. And so, because I’m so afraid, I don’t call her at all. When my brother asks me if I did, I always say “yes, regularly.” I know mom’s not going to remember it anyways.
This sounds very insensitive. But in reality, I’m just trying to run far away from what’s destined to happen. I feel like I am a bad daughter, but what else should I do?